Feedback on Man Who Planted Trees reading assignment

Hey Gang,

BE SURE TO READ THIS WHOLE POST!!
My hope is to help you improve your science writing skills.

I am glad you enjoyed the book, The Man Who Planted Trees. I have always thought it was such a sweet tale. Very inspiring!

But we need to talk about your responses and use it as our first opportunity to learn how to answer essays questions better.

The Biology question really was #3c:
"Research what is going on here biologically. How can cutting down trees change the climate and soil fertility of a whole region? And why can planting trees restore barren land into fertile ground?"

Collectively, you delivered a narrow range of answers. This is how an AP essay grader would distill down your answers:

Ashley: loss of shade increases temperature, evaporation from unshaded soil, CO2 build up
Dan: CO2 build up, brief mention of soil moisture
Elena: CO2 build up, evaporation from unshaded soil, a brief mention of water cycle
Erin: CO2 build up, loss of O2
Gabby: disruption of nutrient cycling, evaporation from unshaded soil
Gerard: evaporation from unshaded soil, CO2 build up
Ivanah: evaporation from unshaded soil, CO2 build up
Kailey: loss of shade increases temperature, evaporation from unshaded soil, a brief mention of water cycle
Kristen: loss of shade increases temperature, evaporation from unshaded soil, CO2 build up
Lauren: loss of shade increases temperature, CO2 build up
Monica: SOIL EROSION, shade, CO2 build up
Patrick: greenhouse gas build up, nutrient cycling
Shannon: evaporation from unshaded soil
Siobhan: SOIL EROSION, CO2 build up
Stephen: loss of shade increases temperature, SOIL EROSION, LOSS OF EVAPOTRANSPIRATION & DISRUPTION OF WATER CYCLE**
Umar: loss of shade increases temperature, evaporation from unshaded soil, SOIL EROSION, brief suggestion about recycling of water

HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR ANSWERS
When you answer an essay question, you must clue in on the principles/concepts asked about.

1. CLIMATE:
For the part of the question that asked about what changes the "climate of a whole region", you needed to know how to define climate. You should have learned in both Earth Science and Living Environment that the two factors that define climate are TEMPERATURE & PRECIPITATION. The biggest issue in the book is the fact that the area was now a desert, so that should have pushed you into developing an answer that explained the lack of precipitation in the area. You then need to look at your answer and say to yourself: "Did I answer the question?" Why would cutting down TREES reduce PRECIPITATION?

ONLY Stephen fully identified a disruption of the water cycle as the key factor that would explain this loss of precipitation... AND he even explained how cutting down trees causes this disruption in the water cycle. YAY for Stephen!!

2. SOIL FERTILITY:
For the part of the question that asked about what changes the "soil fertility of a whole region", you needed to know how to define soil fertility. You should have learned in Earth Science that soil fertility is a measure of the nutrients in the soil. These nutrients are lost when topsoil (top layer of nutrient-rich soil) is washed away during erosion when you have barren soil.

Only four students (Monica, Siobhan, Stephen, Umar) correctly identified soil erosion as this factor.

YAY for Monica, Siobhan & Umar! And DOUBLE YAY for Stephen for having BOTH answers correct.
That earns Stephen a "HOMEWORK FREE PASS" (to be redeemed during the school year)!

MISCONCEPTIONS & BAD HABITS
We also need to address some misconceptions that came out in your responses.

1. MISCONCEPTION: Local desertification is caused by CO2 build up & Global warming
Okay, so I need to know if so many of you answered with discussions of CO2 build up & global warming because you read the first posted reply which included these and copied it... or does my WHOLE AP Biology class really NOT understand global warming?

So why isn't global warming an answer for why cutting down trees creates deserts. Well, you've got to pay attention to the GLOBAL in global warming. Yes, cutting down trees increase the accumulation of greenhouse gases which does increase Earth's temperatures, but they are GLOBAL temperatures. This is a planetary effect, not a local/regional effect. It's also a long term, slower process than was experienced in the story. You cut down trees and you get a significant reduction in rainfall THAT year!

2. MISCONCEPTION: Desertification is caused by loss of shade.
Although it seems logical that the lack of shade reduces soil moisture, that is not what creates a desert. You have to review the WATER CYCLE. What creates rain? What restores moisture to the air so that precipitation then restores moisture to the soil? What part do trees play in this?



The way to think about this is that the plants (trees) are the link between the water in the soil and the water in the air -- they create the water cycle. The plants take up the water from the soil through their roots and then the water is drawn up through the plant's transport system and evaporated from their leaves into the air.

1. Hey, do you remember what the "pipes" are called that carry water in a plant?
   (extra credit to the first right answer!)


2. And do you remember what the process is called by which water evaporates from the leaves of plants thereby drawing water up throughout the whole plant.. and then into the atmosphere. (extra credit to the first right answer!)
   

It's this process that keeps the water cycle going round. The moisture that travels up the plants, evaporating from their leaves into the atmosphere, falls back to Earth as rain. In a very real sense, plants make their own rain. Isn't that poetic, and even magical!

If you remove the plants, then the water cycle is broken, and moisture is not returned to the atmosphere. Water drains away from the area to the sea instead of rising to the clouds and falling again to feed the plants. And as the rain washes down to the seas it unfortunately takes with it the fertile topsoil that is no longer held back by the roots of the plants.

This whole tragedy spirals downward as the area loses its plants, its nourishing soil and water and its animal life. So sad.... see what happens when people do not understand the inter-connectedness of life in an ecosystem... the inter-connectedness of life on this planet.

3. BAD HABIT: Words without points ...
After grading the essays from this year's AP exam, I learned a lot about the bad habits of students in the answers they write for essays. Below are some common ones that I saw in your responses.
(Please note: most of you had examples of these types of errors... they are not confined to the few examples I use from specific responses, so don't consider yourself exempt from needing improvement here just because I didn't grab a quote from your answers)

a. Restating information from the question:
"Planting trees can restore barren land into fertile ground."
Yes, that is what the question already said -- so don't bother restating it in your answer, it will not gain you any points.

b. Not being specific enough

• "Cutting down trees can change the climate and soil fertility"
  This is an example of a particular vague wording that plagued students in this year's essays. Taking about change without defining what type of change. Don't talk about "change" without talking about the DIRECTION of the change (REDUCE soil fertility & DECREASE regional rainfall)
  
  
• "Planting more trees ... helps the water cycle by returning water vapor back into the atmosphere"
  In AP Biology, you need to talk about MECHANISMS -- how something happens. So the above sentence is a good start, but it needed to complete the thought by explaining HOW planting more trees returned water vapor back into the atmosphere.

c. Not making sense
"Climate increases..."
Ummm, climate can get warmer or colder or wetter or drier, but it can't "increase". Make sure your proposed change fits the factor yu are writing about.

4 . BAD HABIT: Borrowed words
STOP COPYING WORDS OFF THE WEB!
STOP COPYING FROM WIKIPEDIA!
This is PLAGIARISM!
It is sooooo obvious when you do this. It is clear when the words are not your writing style!
Break the habit NOW... you will lose full credit in my class for this.
You have good brains... use them... this course is about learning how to think at the collegiate level.
START NOW!


Now let's chat about your answers to the last question -- a person or organization, like Elzeard Bouffier, actually changing the world by planting trees.

Your choices fell into two groups: Overseas groups & U.S. groups

Overseas
Indonesian REDD Programme - Ashley
Srinibas Jena (individual eastern India) -- Umar
Plant it 2020 -- Monica
Trees for the Future -- Lauren
United Nations Environment Programme -- Stephen
World Bank -- Dan
Wangari Maathai & Greenbelt Movement -- Gabby**
Trees for Life -- Patrick

In U.S.
American Forests -- Kailey
Arbor Day Foundation -- Ivanah
Tree Musketeers -- Gerard
Fairfax Releaf Organization -- Siobhan & Shannon
Tree-Mendous Maryland Program -- Kristen
American Forest -- Elena
Dell Computers -- Erin

All of you who chose overseas groups, I commend you for stepping out of the "comfort zone" of the familiar. For all of you who chose U.S. groups, I want to remind you to look more critically at your answers and don't limit yourself to the local and the familiar. It will be just like when you are asked a question in class about organisms and all you think about is humans or mammals or animals, and ignore the wide world of plants, fungi, bacteria, protists, or other non-human animals.

Also, please look critically at the situation: The U.S. does NOT have a significant desertification problem. Compared to many places in the world we are well-forested!
Also, let's talk about that Dell Computer answer.
Please, please, please... do not be fooled by companies painting themselves with a "green wash". Just because their marketing hyped tells you about all the good they are doing for the world doesn't make it (1) true, or (2) significant, or (3) enough to compensate for the environmental degradation they do cause. (Think about that every time you see that GE green-wash commercial during the Olympics right now.)

The prize goes to Gabby!
Wangari Maathai epitomizes the qualities found in Elzeard Bouffier's character. Her Green Belt Movement takes a holistic approach and works on sustainable development, human rights, democracy, education, and women's empowerment simultaneously. Wangari Maathai won the Nobel Peace Prize for her work. She is first woman from Africa to be honored with the prize. Maathai is the embodiment of the bumper sticker, "Think Globally, Act Locally" and she risked her life against a repressive dictatorial regime to do her work.
Listen to an interview with Wangari Maathai on National Public Radio.

Good job, Gabby!
That earns Gabby a "HOMEWORK FREE PASS" (to be redeemed during the school year)!

Now on to Reading 2... to a real-life hero of mine, Dr. Paul Farmer!